


Le Big Score de Waluigi: Part Deux

by cowboychris



Series: A Series of Essays on the Relativity of Morality [6]
Category: Mario & Luigi RPG (Video Games), Super Mario Bros. (Video Game)
Genre: Ass Vore, Coffee Shops, Les Misérables References, M/M, Murder, Vore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 13:49:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7107517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboychris/pseuds/cowboychris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waluigi is a VORE MAN. HE LOVES VORE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Le Big Score de Waluigi: Part Deux

**Author's Note:**

> half of cowboy chris was too big of a pussy to correctly write vore, so the other half, the seasoned vore half, had to write it for them. so, fuck off. this is cowboy chris civil war.

Waluigi steps off the plane in Portland, Oregon. He is ready to go through the portal. In Portland, Oregon. He is here because this is where Luigi is currently located. He moved here after the whole anal sex debacle. Luigi wanted to move to the west coast to start over again, but he wasn't cool enough to make it in LA. So, he moved to Portland to create his own Coffee Shop, Loogie's COFFEE. It was mediocre at best. 

Waluigi licks his dry lips. Luigi had no idea he was coming to visit Loogie's COFFEE. After all, Luigi had no idea what happened in his ass just a few years back. What started off as simple ass vore turned into a life-changing experience. While in his ass, Waluigi found Guy Fieri and smoked the Dank Kush. But, they also found a portal inside of Luigi's ass. It has bothered Waluigi all these years, as he never found out what was in the portal before he was forcibly thrusted out by Luigi's bowel movements. But today was the day all of that was going to change. He was going to enter Luigi's ass once again, in a trek that will be either life or death. 

Waluigi hails a cab with a simple, quiet "Wahh..." into the cool Portland air. The cab pulls up, the driver looking up at Waluigi and nodding. He knows where to take him. Everyone does -- his trek is the most important thing to come out of Portland in years. This city is fucking hipster garbage. 

Anyway, Waluigi rests his head on the cab's window glass as the car glides towards Loogie's COFFEE. Everyone nods solemnly to the cab as it passes. It seems as though everyone knows the importance of Waluigi's mission. Finally, the car pulls up to the simple coffee shop. 

Waluigi steps out and puts sunglasses on his grossly deformed face, and lets out a deep breath. He was ready. He busts through the doors of the coffee shop, and all heads turn to him as he strolls in, swagger in his step. Many people get up and leave, as they know the importance of his mission. Waluigi struts up to the counter, right to the loogie man himself, and rips off his sunglasses. 

Luigi takes one look at Waluigi and closes his eyes, taking a shaky breath. He knows what is coming, everyone knows -- they can feel the importance of Waluigi's mission radiating off of his beautiful, purple overalls. 

"My purple comrade, it has been too long..." Luigi whispers, looking away to where a pot of coffee was dripping its contents into a mug. Waluigi doesn't brake his cold gaze away from Luigi's hesitant face. 

"You know what I must do..." Waluigi whispers. Luigi nods just the slightest bit, closing his eyes in fear. 

Waluigi puts a soft hand on Luigi's shoulder. "Wahh." he says softly, trying to bring comfort to Luigi. Luigi puts his hand on Waluigi's hand on his shoulder, and looks him in the eyes. "I'm ready, daddy." He says softly. 

Luigi rings the Vore Bell indicating that the store is closed. Soft vaporwave begins playing over the PA. Disgruntled customers begin to file out, not willing to sit through the carnage of another vore session. Dio Brando pays for his coffee and slaps Luigi's ass, before Jotrato kicks him out yelling yare yare daze......

Luigi bends over and reveals his gaping ass, which in its hunger has chewed through luigi's beautiful denim pants which he purchased for $39.99. Waluigi lets out a little stream of drool as he gazes into the asshole, fleshy and putrid, yet alluring, like gazing into the sun. The philosopher Nietzsche wrote, Gaze long into the ass and the ass gazes into you. Waluigi had an innate grasp of philosophy because he had shoved several books on the subject up his rectum. Anyway, he leaned in slowly to the devouring, puckered flesh of the golden anus. Several dinosaur-like teeth circled it, and a beak like an octopus poked out. It was a wonder that Luigi's pants were so clean, as the anus was oozing slime, rectal fluids, anal leakage and infected pus. Some of the gunk had rudimentary sentience, as a pile of shit slopped off and began crawling away yelling something about running for president and making america great again.

Waluigi began to tease the monstrous maw of the asshole, prodding it with a gentle finger, then clawing at it with a long, crooked fingernail. A series of small tentacles emerged from the asshole, guiding Waluigi along, burrowing under his flesh and dragging his arm into the point of no return past the event horizon of the ass. Waluigi remembered eating Stephen Hawking and absorbing his knowledge of black holes, and wondered if the same principle applied to the science of buttholes, Buttology. Waluigi had a Ph.D in Buttology and taught several lectures on assematics.

Luigi let out a little squee as his anus tentacles began to drag Waluigi in, absorbing his mass into the biological hellscape of Luigi's ass. Waluigi wondered if the sheer eldritch horror that was Luigi's ass proved that there was no god, or that if god did exist then he had a sick sense of humour. His arm was mangled by the gnashing teeth surrounding the asshole, and comforted himself with the knowledge that it would all be over soon, that once he was inside the ass he would be united with his true love once more...

Luigi cackled as his biological butt defense system ripped Waluigi's flesh apart, tearing apart flesh and gore and using it to provide nutrients. Luigi was actually an alien parasite that had infected the buttwhole of Mario's brother and used it to harvest flesh to grow powerful, but that's a story for another day.

After what felt like an eternity, Waluigi opened his eyes - one of his three eyes was taken as a sacrifice to enter the Ass Realm. He was in a putrid cave that resembled the inside of a womb, pulsing with blood and fluids being transported through several veins. He marveled at the beauty, before smelling a familiar smell amongst the gore and flesh. The smell of weed. That Dank Kush. Waluigi's nose tripled in size as he followed the weed vapour through the organic flesh maze of Luigi's cavernous asshole. After a year of navigating the ass caves, or what felt like a year at least, he saw a familiar, spiky haired figure. It was none other than Guy Fieri, the Mayor of Flavourtown.

"Sup my brother" Guy said in a saucy accent, barbecue sauce dripping down his face. "Sorry for bein out, I had to deal with some dick named Dio back in Egypt along with an old war buddy."

Waluigi knew not to question Guy's adventures, and instead he reached into his chest and ripped out his beating heart, leaking blood and gore across the cave. "You've already a-stolen my heart, Guy, you may as well finish the job"

Guy's eyes perked up as he reached inside his fiery trenchcoat and pulled out some special sauce and smothering the heart in a thick white fluid, before messily devouring it with the screams of the damned echoing in the distance. "Thanks babe. Now we're ready to go."

Waluigi took out his gun and shot Guy Fieri. I don't want to write about him anymore. Bye fucker. 

The cave of Luigi's ass was dark and dank, so Waluigi had to use his hands to navigate the ass. Finally, he saw a blue light in the distance. He ran towards it and saw the unnatural glow of a blue portal. He has found it...

Waluigi steps forward and takes a deep breath. He was ready to enter the unknown. This is what he has worked towards for years. He shuffles forward, closing his eyes as he steps through the blue and into the waters of the unknown...

\--

Waluigi wakes up in a rainy alleyway, cobblestone jabbing in his back. He looks up to see a gray sky, smoke filling the air -- industrial smog. He had no idea where he was. 

He finally manages to get himself up and limp towards the light at the end of the alley, looking around. What he sees makes him gasp in horror. 

CHECK IN NEXT WEEK TO SEE WHAT HE FINDS!!!!!!!!!!

jk

He finds people in period clothing, covered in dirt. They're all mumbling under their breath, and if Waluigi listens closely, he can make out what they're saying... 

_"Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men. It is the music of the people who will not be slaves again. When the beating of your heart echos the beating of the drums, there is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!"_

OH SHIIITTT. Looks like Waluigi is the Les Mis movie. How wacky and unexpected! Woo Hoo!

(authors note: we're both communists)

Waluigi wasn't expecting this, and he supported the French Monarchy with a fiery passion, so he was fucking pissed. Waluigi runs to the nearest French peasant and rips off his fucking head with his bare teeth. The head rolls onto the ground, spraying blood everywhere like a fire hose. Waluigi gallops to the head and unhinges his jaw, making it wide enough to devour the head in one gulp. He slurps up the blood, the copper tang filling up his mouth like a red wine. He moans as he slurps, digging his tongue hard enough in the ground while slurping to cut up his own tongue. His blood and the peasant's blood is filling his mouth, mingling like two delicious sauces. 

People are staring at him in horror, so he just limp-runs to the nearest peasants and rips out her fuckin' eye with his bloody teeth, then unhinges his jaw again and slurps her up. He can feel her panicked hands bang against his stomach wall as she struggles, still alive within him. He runs to a small child and rips open his jugular vein, drinking the blood like a water fountain as it comes at him at a rapid speed. He tears off the child's ear and chews on the cartilage like it was a piece of Orbit™ Peppermint Gum. 

The peasants eventually got their pitchforks and ran Waluigi straight fuckin' through. Bye bye, asshole. You will not be missed.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was written in a tense work atmosphere. i was bullied while writing this.


End file.
